Hi I am Phoebe See Man-yan, the Coordinating Secretary of The Chinese YMCA of Hong Kong.

Photographs and videos capture the joyous moments and giggles of family gatherings. Parents would often like to cherish every second and tell the world that their children are the prettiest and most precious thing to them.

Nowadays, "sharenting" has become a popular trend wherein parents eagerly upload photographs or videos featuring their children to various social media platforms. Regrettably, this seemingly innocuous act may cause emotional distress in some children, making them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.

The Chinese YMCA of Hong Kong interviewed around 800 parents and 1,100 primary and secondary school students from September to November last year. The findings revealed that more than 80% of the surveyed parents shared their children's information on social media platforms, with nearly 32% sharing across multiple platforms. However, approximately 30% of parents did not obtain their children's consent before sharing photos or videos online, and nearly 40% rarely or never discussed their habits of sharing their children's information. Moreover, nearly 60% of surveyed parents believed that sharing their information would not cause their children to experience negative emotions such as embarrassment, annoyance, or anger.

In terms of children's perspectives, nearly half of those surveyed were aware that their parents shared details about their daily lives online. In some cases, parents even created separate accounts just for this purpose. The children polled generally believed that parents should obtain their consent before sharing their information online, and more than 70% preferred that their parents not share their personal information online. Furthermore, nearly 30% were annoyed, while over 20% were angry at their parents for sharing their information without their consent.

We recognize that parents often feel proud of their children's accomplishments and feel compelled to share these moments with others. However, oversharing may have negative outcome for their children. These include issues arising from the disclosure of personal information and the emergence of trust issues between parents and children, which negatively impact their relationship.

Children of different age groups all need to feel safe and loved, and starting at the age of 7, they begin to desire respect. If these developmental psychological needs are not met, children may easily become passive, withdrawn, insecure, lacking trust in others, and struggling to establish relationships. They may even exhibit rebellious behaviour and resist actions that do not show them respect.

Furthermore, "sharenting" may have unintended consequences, including the risk of jealousy and cyberbullying. Many parents see it as an adorable moment shared on social media, but it may disturb other children in the same picture as well. The worst-case scenario for the long-term consequences of "sharing" is that the children grow up only to discover that every intimate detail of their lives has been exposed online. These unerasable data are not only embarrassing but may also encourage criminals to use them for illegal activities.

The Chinese YMCA proposes using the concept of "S.U.M.", that means Support, Understanding, and Mindfulness as a guiding principle for parents. As we encourage parents to practice mindfulness and be aware of their own internal needs, we also encourage introspection when seeking attention from the others. Parents should consider their motivations for sharing online, such as validation, social connection, or bonding with their children only. After all, parents' genuine affection for their children is more important than the number of “social media likes” they received.

As technology continues to advance, it becomes crucial for parents to be mindful of the information they share about their children online. With that in mind, the Chinese YMCA would like to remind parents of a few important points. It is crucial to seek their children's consent before sharing any information about them. Also, parents should avoid exposing personal information about children, such as the full names, school names or whereabouts of their children, or uploading sensitive images of children. Always respect your children's decisions, respect their wishes if they want pictures to be removed.

Before uploading photos of your children, take a moment to consider what needs you are trying to fulfill. Is it a need for approval from others? Is it a desire to feel connected to society? Remember, as a parent, your efforts towards your children deserve self-appreciation. And your love for them doesn't require constant validation through praise from the others.